MEDICINES, RELATIONSHIPS AND YOU!

Okay! This is my personal experience. Before being into this relationship counselling that i am doing, of course in a small scale non-profit way, i used to be in this relationship. My girlfriend suffered from depression and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). And she was on pharmacotherapy for the same; she was on SSRIs. Just like most of the relationships, our had tough times too. I couldn't take it then. It was my guilt for my family, being born to an orthodox (rather semi - orthodox) Indian family. I couldn't take it. So i being a medical student then (and a half - doctor), decided to gulp some SSRIs myself.

I opened my pharmacology textbook and saw the first SSRI listed. It was fluoxetine. I liked the name. And of course i read about the adverse effects and the drug interactions. I went for it. There were occasions when we fought rather literally ( for we were kids, i presume). And then i couldn't take them. I gulped double doses of prodep (fluoxetine). I don't know if it was a placebo effect or real maniac attack, i just went uncontrollable one night.

Okay this is what happened. I was walking on the road in our college campus, and i found a nice bouquet lying on the road (it probably had a story to tell, mostly a rejected proposal). I could see it smiling at me. And i picked it up. I just told my friends that I am gonna give this to the girl i see next.

Now a little about me, I was this shy boy in the class, who really didn't talk to anyone. And people were surprised to know that i was in a relationship with a girl who had problems with her mood who was a year elder to me.

And here I see a girl coming in a blue shirt and a black jeans and walking towards the hostel. I walked towards her and gave the bouquet to that complete stranger and said "this is for you!" (Nobody who knew me believed this; now i even i doubt if i could do it though i don't regret it ;) ). The petrified and surprised girl took the flowers and went away. (Later i realised that she was my friends brothers girlfriend ).

I was still laughing loud until i saw the mirror. I saw my face and I asked is this me?

Well now here is the question. I had social anxiety. Or probably still have it now, though to a lesser extent. That was what i meant when I said I was shy. Now fluoxetine at a dose of 10 mg - 20 mg is sure a treatment for the same. The question is does these drugs change the person who you are. If someone on these drugs love you, would they still love you when they are out of it?

A debatable question. My opinion is, we must limit the liberal usage of these drugs. I mean for conditions like minor social anxiety. CBT (cognitive and behavioural therapy) is a very good alternative for social anxiety.